"Hilary Clinton and Vladamir Putin" are Star-crossed Lovers Suggests a Personality Test App

Welcome to another episode of the podcast RPB where we peer into the world of humans via the lens of animals—in this case, a monkey, me—your host, George D' Curious. With us today we have an anonymous interviewee and today we'll be talking about a Personality Test App suggesting Hilary Clinton and Vladamir Putin are Star-Crossed lovers...

George D'Curious

The love lost between Hilary Clinton and Vladamir Putin is no secret, but your philosophy or this App of yours is that this is actually a case of Star-Crossed love in disguise?

Interviewee

Yes—

George D'Curious

Hilary Clinton...Vladamir Putin...Star-crossed lovers?

Interviewee

Right.

George D'Curious

To be clear, this isn't about Donald Trump’s budding bromance with Vladimir Putin...This is Hillary Clinton who allegedly being the December 20ll protest to undermine Putin's power and later comparing him to Hitler. And Putin in turn allegedly retaliating with the DNC hack to undercut Clinton.

Interviewee

Exactly, you see this Personality Trait Test App claims to "KNOW YOU BETTER THAN YOU" by grouping individuals into 16 different personality types.

George D'Curious

Is that so?

Interviewee

And Vladimir Putin happens to fall under personality type ISTP (The Craftsman). ISTPs are optimistic, energetic, creative, practical, relaxed, spontaneous, rational, good at dealing with crisis, but on the downside, they can be stubborn, insensitive, private, reserved, easily bored, dislike commitment and risky behavior. Others in this category include Steve Jobs, Ashton Kutcher, and the Dalai Lama.

George D'Curious

Fascinating, how about Hilary Clinton?

Interviewee

She falls under personality type ESTJ. They are usually dedicated, loyal, patient, reliable, strong-willed, direct, honest, enjoy creating order and are excellent organizers. Weaknesses: stubborn, judgemental, inflexible, uncomfortable with unconventional solutions, overly conscious about social status, difficulties expressing emotions and difficulties relaxing. Others in this category include Andrew Jackson, Judge Judy and Lyndon Johnson.

George D'Curious

So the Star-crossed lovers, how did that come about?

Interviewee

Well apart from telling you your personality type, possible career choices, it also recommends Preferred Partner based on data collected...

As you can see ISTPs and ESTJs are recommended partners as "ESTJ Extraversion (E) and Judging (J) traits, counterbalance the ISTPs' Introversion (I) and Prospecting (P) traits." Also, "while both personalities like to know their efforts are appreciated, they aren't the greatest at showing affection"—so yes, they are made for each other!

George D'Curious

Amazing—

[Ring Ring Ring]

Hello caller?

George D'Curious

Oh wait we are getting a call...caller you're live on RPB Podcast with George D'Curious—

Caller

This is Moo the sheep. Heard you were talking about the Personality Test App. My mom took the test and it was right as rain then it recommended a preferred partner that matched her personality type in her neck of the woods. What do you know!? It's the neighborhood Big Bad Wolf.

George D'Curious

That must have been surprising for your mum, I imagine.

Caller

I know! She went on a date—picnicking with the Big Bad Wolf.

George D'Curious

What? Did she ever come back?

Caller

No, not yet. I did receive a blood-stained letter from my mum though, about how well the date went—the handwriting style didn't look like mums' but she assured me it was her nonetheless—she even invited me to join her today.

George D'Curious

No, Moo—don't do it—

Caller

Why not? Besides, I'm already in the lair of the Big Bad Wolf—Big Bad Wolf, there you are! Where's my mum?

George D'Curious

No, Moo. Get away from the Big Bad Wolf right now—it's Little Red Riding Hood all over again...Moo?

[growls, tearing sounds, call drops]

Moo?

Interviewee

I think Moo is gone, mate...more like Little Stupid Riding Sheep.

George D'Curious

Sorry to our audience for the gruesome end of that call, I think the lesson we've learned today is—

Interviewee

What? It is unnatural for a sheep to go picnicking with a wolve?

George D'Curious

Right, because the sheep becomes the main course of the picnic...

Interviewee

Little Moo(s) becomes dessert.

George D'Curious

Right. So sad...so sad.

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